Leaky Faucets

Sometimes—and this certainly depends on my mood—I think I could live the life of a cloistered nun, if not for the requirements of being Catholic and female.  There is a group of such nuns living in a convent near our house; they are friends of my in-laws and often come to the house.  I saw a few of them the other day at JY Square Supermarket in their red habits.  I know they walked the mile or so to get there, which I would enjoy if I weren’t in a hurry, though I wonder if those habits are comfortable in this heat.    I would certainly enjoy the days spent reading and studying, and most importantly not socializing.  Like I said, it depends on my mood.  If it is sour, I sometimes dream about getting away from everyone.  This would be one way to do it.

Does anyone honestly believe that the decision to keep the baby was made by Bristol Palin?  If her mother wasn’t the VP candidate, don’t you think she might at least consider alternatives?  Is she really pissed at her mother because she has no choice in the matter?   Should these kids really be getting married?  Why not give the baby up for adoption to Jason Bateman and Jennifer Garner?  It worked for Juno, after all.

Obviously, cute, innocent little Bristol is not the good Christian girl that her parents hoped for.  Maybe if her mother taught her about condoms rather than just preaching abstinence, she wouldn’t be in this mess.  What’s wrong with condoms?  Millions of 17-year olds around the world are having sex, but condoms prevent most of them from getting pregnant.

I know Barack Obama asked for a media blackout on this issue but I hardly consider myself a member of the media.  And besides, I’m not attacking Bristol.  Just her mother and her hypocrisy.  Or at the very least, the folly of the policy she advocates.  She wants schools to teach abstinence instead of sex education—let’s see what that does to the teen pregnancy rate in Alaska.

And I love the whole “Desperate Housewives” angle on this story.  Not really a fan of that show but I caught an episode that involved one of the characters faking pregnancy so that her teen daughter’s pregnancy would be passed off as hers.  I wonder if this is where the bloggers got the idea for that rumor.

Yesterday was like Christmas morning for Ana and me.  At least what I think Christmas morning would feel like.  As a Jew, I never truly experienced all the excitement of Christmas morning that my gentile friends like Jimmy enjoyed every year of their childhood.  Yeah, we had Hanukkah, but when it all comes at one time it’s quite a rush.

What made me think of Christmas?  We received the last of our stuff that we shipped here from New York just before the real Christmas last year.  These were the final eight boxes out of a total 18.  Included was my new turntable so I can finally start converting my vinyl into mp3s; all the toiletries (deodorant, razor blades, toothpaste, floss, etc.) that I desperately need from the brands I trust and can only get here for double or triple the price in the States if at all; two pairs of brand new and unused Asics running shoes (this quality of running shoe I definitely cannot get here); and our tennis rackets so we can finally start with tennis lessons.  Ana had at least a whole box of toys, stuffed animals and books, many of which I’ve never seen before-they must have been given to Aya by our old neighbor Leontine right before we shipped out.  Also, was my long awaited Noi Sirius Icelandic dark chocolate.  I sent seven bars-every single one that they had at the Whole Foods in Columbus Circle when I stopped there right before we left.  I plan to ration these so that they last me until June when we’ll be in the U.S. for a visit.

And, perhaps most importantly was the 12 rolls of 2-ply Charmin that we had left over.  There was no way I was giving that up.  The toilet paper here is very flimsy and not too soft.  Charmin is hard to find and is usually one ply.  At the duty free they had the 2-ply but the cost was exorbitant.  It may sound silly to some, but having the right toilet paper can go a long way toward satisfaction in life.  Of course, I must be careful not to flush too much of this American import-Filipino plumbing is not equipped to handle heavy duty toilet paper.  Yeah, if any of you are thinking that I wouldn’t be too upset getting a six pack of Charmin for my next birthday or Christmas or Hanukkah or whatever, your absolutely right.

Before the show last night, Aya and I had dinner at Fine & Schapiro, a classic kosher Jewish delicatessen on the Upper West Side. We spent a few hours in midtown but had to get out of there and didn’t want to subject ourselves to the midtown deli tourist traps Stage or Carnegie. I knew that the better food was as far away from the store-window-gawkers as possible.

It was Aya’s idea to go to a deli. She wanted to have a Chanukah dinner. I just love the food. We had a great meal starting with homemade gefilte fish basically a ground cake of white fish, best eaten with horseradish sauce (which Aya likened to the Filipino dish embutido.) Then we had a large bowl of soup with a matzo ball and kreplach, a Jewish dumpling filled with ground beef. We also shared a hot corned beef on rye and potato latkes with apple sauce. The sandwich was a reasonable size and went for $9.50 as opposed to the monstrosities purveyed in midtown at monstrous prices. The atmosphere was pleasant. Only half full, they let us linger long after we were finished. The owner also gave us two free rugelach. The service was also pleasant and patient.

When I go into a place like this I suddenly feel Jewish, but certainly not in a religious way. When I step into a synagogue I don’t feel at all like a belong, but stick a corned beef sandwich and matzo ball soup in front of me, and I feel at home. I even gained the approval of a 60ish man a few tables away when I asked the waiter in advance for the dark green well done pickles only. “The real sour dills,” he said. “Those are the only good ones.” “Otherwise, you’re just eating a cucumber,” I retorted. We shared a brief laugh and a knowing glance from one Jew to another, even if my Jewishness is usually hidden at the deep recesses of my consciousness.

The deli is an integral part of the Jewish culture I grew up with and probably the only part that has stayed with me.  I’m glad Aya wants to share this, and I want our daughter to be a part of it too.  Whenever we visit Cleveland, we usually go to Corky & Lenny’s, the deli I was raised on.  In New York, Fine & Schapiro may top my list now, though this is only the second time I’ve eaten there.  The first was back when Aya was living on the UWS when we first starting dating seven or eight years ago.  I guess, inside the deli, were all Jews, even Aya a Filipino Catholic.

It occurs to me that this country would be so much better if people would stop talking-and even thinking-about the A word.  Republicans, and increasingly Democrats need to pledge their allegiance to the anti-choice agenda to appease the fanatics who view it as the number one issue in our country, the issue that either makes them vote for you or the other candidate regardless of their position on Iraq, the economy, health care, jobs, taxes, energy efficiency, handouts to corporate supporters and about 95 other issues that are more important than abortion.  It should be somewhere near flag burning in the pecking order.  It’s a non-issue.  As is gay marriage.  If John and Steve want to get married in Provincetown, Massachusetts, it doesn’t affect the way I feel about my own marriage.  If Mary Jo out in Little Rock doesn’t want to be just another single mother on welfare, not only will it not change the way I feel about my own decision to have a baby, I won’t even know about her decision.  And that’s the way it should be.  It’s time to take this issue off the table because it should not decide the fate of our country.

The Pope’s recent anti-Muslim (or at least perceived anti-Muslim) comments were comically hypocritical if you consider how Christianity spread.   The Pope seems to have forgotten his history.  From the Spanish Inquisition to the forced conversion of indigenous peoples in Latin America by the Spanish and Portuguese, the Catholic faith would be a mere pittance today without the gun and the sword.  Oh yeah, and the Crusades?

Just what do you call a Jewish person who becomes an evangelical Christian?  According to a Christian acquaintance, such a person is referred to as a completed Jew.  She told me this without the slightest tinge of irony.  Actually, she thought I, as a Jew, would feel some sort of kinship with these former Jews, that I would somehow be pleased with the news.  Frankly, I found the whole idea offensive. 

Look, I don’t care if someone is a Jew or a Christian or an atheist, but don’t tell me that a regular Jew is incomplete somehow.  If they become complete as they say, then they are no kind of Jew anymore.

I always thought of Buddhism as the most peaceful of all religions.  Well, apparently not in Sri Lanka.  Some of the Buddhist monks there are quite militant urging an escalation of the government’s war against the Tamil Tigers separatist group.  The other day, some of these monks interrupted a peace protest rally in the capital, which led to fisticuffs, some of which was monk-on-monk.  What’s this world coming to, I ask you?  

What’s up with the Jews for Jesus?  I just don’t get them.  Lately, they’ve been on an absolute campaign blitz in New York City like they’re running for office or something.  Their main competition among groups soliciting new members in subway stations are the Cruisologists with their “free stress tests.”   I haven’t seen those L. Ron Hubbard devotees since the J4J swung into action.  Perhaps they muscled them out, moved in on their turf.  Both groups have their own t-shirts that all recruiters wear, sort of their gang colors I suppose.

I wonder if people outside New York know about the Jews for Jesus.  I think I remember hearing about them when I lived in Cleveland but never actually encountered any until I lived here.  Now they’re annoying me almost every day trying to shove pamphlets at me.  I usually just ignore them and avert my eyes like most New Yorkers do when they encounter a freak, though sometimes I give a quick scowl and I’m often tempting to tell them to fuck off, though I haven’t done so yet.

What are they all about anyway?  When I was growing up somewhat Jewish, I was always told that the Jews were not big fans of that guy from Nazareth, that they believed their messiah had not yet arrived.  Many people who believe in Jesus blame the Jews for his death.  Mel Gibson might be one of them.  If Jews are for Jesus, can they really still call themselves Jews?

Aya recently got an e-mail from someone she knows that included a picture of Jesus being crucified.  The sender is a born-again Christian to whom Aya recently e-mailed something, enabling her to capture Aya’s address and add her to her Christian group e-mail list.  Aya is Catholic but she would never send nor hope to receive this type of e-mail.  Religion to her is a personal matter, not one that should be the fodder for spam mail.  I wonder what Christian chain spam sounds like.  Probably something like this: “forward this message to 10 friends or you will perish in eternal hellfire.”