Leaky Faucets

I am a little confused about how to dress for a business meeting this afternoon. In the Philippines, business dress is decidedly more casual than in the U.S., which pleases me as I hated wearing a button-down shirt and tie at work especially in the heat of the summer when I’d be sweaty by the time I arrived to the office. For the most part, I think I can wear jeans or even shorts and sandals to work most days.

But to me, at least, meetings with people outside the company are different. Even though I haven’t really started working regularly yet, I’ve attended a few meetings in the last few weeks. All of them have been with foreigners–Russians and Americans–so I dressed a little nicer (short sleeve cotton knit shirt and khakis–hey, this is the tropics so no suit and tie here, thank God). But today’s meeting is with a Filipino group so I’m not sure if I can get away with jeans and sandals. Or do I have to wear shoes and socks? Certainly shorts are out. My brother-in-law is always pretty casual almost always dressed in jeans and an untucked t-shirt and sandals, but I’m not sure if I want to follow his lead on this. I like to be comfortable but don’t want to look like a slob in a business setting.

We just got back from a weekend at the beach a few hours ago.  We’ve been here for almost a month already and yet, this was a first time at the beach.  There are beaches on Mactan Island about 30-40 minutes away from where we live but those are overcrowded.  The ones down south are much better.  The drive was about two hours each way to Moalboal but it was definitely worth it.  We stayed at Club Serena, a small resort with only eight rooms; we occupied three of them.  As usual, we had a big group with us-it was the first time since our wedding in ‘03 that all four Garcia siblings were together.

It was a most relaxing weekend.  We swam in the pool a lot and briefly in the sea, where Aya and I tried snorkeling.  As I anticipated, I had some major breathing difficulties.  Nothing life threatening in any way.  I just have trouble breathing through my mouth underwater.  I only stayed under for maybe 10 seconds at a time before I got paranoid feeling terribly claustrophobic or whatever kind of phobia means fear of drowning.  I really want to try diving but I’m not sure if I can get over my breathing issues.  I’m not really scared of going deep or encountering massive marine animals (except maybe a shark) but the fearing of not being able to breathe haunts me.  Maybe it has something to do with my normal breathing difficulties on dry land-my allergies, my deviating septum; breathing through my nose has been a problem for years so why shouldn’t this.

We also had some excellent food at Club Serena where we took all our meals.  I ate a lot but pretty healthily-mostly sea food, fruit and vegetables-although I did indulge in dessert both nights.  Ana and Chloe both went in the pool in their flotation devices.  Ana protested at first but once she got used to the water she had a great time.

It was quite peaceful with no television or Internet.   In order to get the news, we had to wait until the local papers were delivered at noon each day.  I got into the beach spirit and starting reading a short novel which I bought in Manila when we first arrived in the Philippines at the beginning of the month.  It’s a mystery narrated by an autistic teenager in England called “The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time.”  The narrator investigates the case of a murdered dog. (Ironically, a couple who we met this weekend told us that a dog was found dead on the beach at a neighboring resort.  It was believed to have died from poisoning but no one mentioned the possibility of foul play.)  The voice of the autistic boy reminds me a little of Camus’ “The Stranger.” The language is simple and a bit rigid and you are left with the overwhelming sense that the person talking to you does not think like a normal person.

Speaking of autism, I was thinking on the car ride home that a person with autism would probably have great difficulty living in the Philippines.  Things here are chaotic and random and there are few visible patterns.  Many streets are nameless or it is at least difficult to ascertain the name since street signs are scarce even for major thoroughfares.   Even many long-time residents who drive here can’t tell me the name of some streets.  To give directions you have to use landmarks; for example, to get to our house you travel down the narrow, windy and bumpy unpaved road and take a right at Lina’s store, and so on.  Many houses are not numbered either and the ones that are I suspect that people just pick their own numbers instead of being assigned by the city; they do at least follow a sequential order.  Not sure at all how mail gets delivered here but I’m pretty sure all of Aya’s family’s mail goes to their offices since they have no street name or number.

One last note about the weekend.  Yesterday, the resorts owner came into the restaurant and informed us that we were supposed to check out.  Apparently, there was some miscommunication and they didn’t know we were supposed to stay another night.  They checked and three rooms were still available but one of us would have to move because a new guest needed that room.  Of course, Aya, Ana and I were the ones who had to move.  We’re used to it I guess.  It wasn’t that difficult but a little annoying taking down the Pack ‘N Play and setting it up again.

Actually, one more random thought before I stop writing.  This is far from an exhaustive study nor is it scientific in any way.  It’s just a personal observation of minimal importance which I feel like sharing.  It seems that most of the keys here have to be employed teeth down in order to turn them in locks.  In America, it’s the other way around although some are teeth down in the U.S.  The room keys at the resort were like this as are the ones that open the gym lockers at Holiday Gym.

Overall, I feel much better about living here after the weekend.  It’s nice to be able to swim outside at night in January, and it’s good to know that this kind of experience is not far away any time I want it.  For those of you reading this who are currently enduring a cold winter in the States, I do apologize if this comes across as bragging.  I’m just trying to justify my decision here and every bit helps during this adjustment phase.

After weighing myself at the gym yesterday and realizing that I’m even heavier than I thought, I’m vowing to redouble my efforts to take off the extra 10-15 pounds I’m carrying.  I don’t have any more excuses left.  I have plenty of time to exercise, which I’ve been doing since I joined Holiday Gym last week.  I’ve gone to the gym 7 of the last 9 days.  Hope I can keep that up.  Also, I’m really trying to eat healthier now-forsaking white rice as much as possible, not eating much meat other than fish, chicken and shellfish, and eating a lot of fruits and vegetables.  I’ve been doing well for the past few days so I hope I can continue.  Also, less sweets of course.  That’s always been my achilles’ heel.  This morning we had the healthiest breakfast since we arrived: organic old-fashioned oatmeal with bananas and organic peanut butter, half a mango and Gen Mai Cha green tea.  I felt so much better not eating the typical Filipino breakfast that my in-laws usually eat: eggs, rice, meat, bread and fruit.  Delicious but deadly if eaten every day.

Some people in the States clearly don’t understand how the Internet works. For instance, Dennis sends me e-mails encapsulating the NFL playoffs and Maryland’s upset over UNC as if I can access yahoo but not nfl.com or espn.com. I politely informed him that I can. Do they not know what the www in web addresses stands for?

There was a DOM convention the other night at the Lighthouse, a Cebu restaurant serving native cuisine.  Colloquially, DOM is an older white man (usually north of 60) who is seen with a much younger Filipina woman (usually under 25 and sometimes at least appearing to be under 18.)  In other words, Dirty Old Men.   You see a lot of this in Cebu and in the Philippines in general, but this particularly night every single couple coming through the doors fit this description.  Many of the men had white or grey hair and many wear cheesy Hawaiian shirts.  Some of the girls are very pretty and others are not.  It seems though that no matter how good they look it doesn’t matter how fat or ugly their companions look.  They are most likely after money, child support or a chance to relocate to America, Europe, Australia, etc.    Why else would they be seen with these guys.  For the men, obviously they can feel good about themselves being seen with a young woman.  The women probably make them feel special.  Both the man and the woman are obviously desperate for different reasons.  I guess it is a mutually beneficial relationship.  Sometimes though, it is disgusting when you see a 70 year old with an 18 year old at the mall.

For me, a white male married to a Filipina living in the Philippines, I sometimes fear that I will be lumped into this group.  I know this is not the case, but with such a proliferation of DOMs in this town I can’t help but wonder.  There are some key differences in my case.  I’m less than three years older than Aya; her family is not poor; she’s an Ivy League graduate, not a hostess at a Karaoke lounge; we met in the States in a traditional manner, not on the Internet or in a bar, etc. etc.  There.  I feel better.

Aya and I and her mom went to Rustan’s grocery store on Sunday.  At the time, I was going through a  bout of extreme homesickness-not for New York necessarily, but for the U.S.  I tried to soothe my longing by buying as many American products as possible even though they are all much more expensive here.   It was gratifying to see more organic and natural products on Rustan’s shelves.  They carry a lot of the brands I’m accustomed to: Tom’s of Maine, Seventh Generation.  So I bought a bunch of that stuff.  While at the supermarket I eyed a crystallized powder jar of MSG.  A lot of products contain MSG-and I try to avoid them-but I’ve never seen MSG itself for sale.

Things in general are much more expensive than before.  Partly, it’s because the peso is now hovering around 40 PHP to $1 compared to the 50-55 PHP to $1 range a few years ago.  But besides that the Philippines has just gotten more expensive.  Imported goods sure, but even services are higher than before.

Went to the Casino at the Waterfront Hotel the other night.  By myself.  This is the first time in my life that I’ve lived in a town with a casino.  It’s only about 10 minutes away.  I love black jack though I don’t go to casinos too much anymore.  I’d like to go once a month if possible.   I’m pretty conservative with my betting so I don’t think it will be a problem for me.  And the table minimums are much better for my budget than in Atlantic City: 300 Peso per hand or about $7.50.  In AC, it is usually $15-25.

I had a pretty good night overall.  Won 1200.  Pesos not dollars.  That’s equivalent to about $30 U.S.  Had a pretty good table too except that some of them didn’t know how to play.  Too much sticking on 16 against a face card.  Once it cost me 2000 pesos.  Shortly after that I left.  There were a couple of black guys from Georgia.  Very loud and a little obnoxious, but in a casino I don’t mind.  They were pretty funny actually and they indulged my nostalgia for the States somewhat.  We got into a brief discussion of college football wherein they reminded me of the SEC’s dominance over my team, Ohio State.

There are some different rules in the blackjack played in the Philippines.  The dealer draws his second card only after all players have drawn their cards.  I’ve never seen it done this way anywhere else.  Advantage to the House?  I assume so.  Also, one can only double on 10 or 11.  This table was the only black jack table in the place and the dealers kept pushing a game called Pontoon.    They described it as a player-friendly game similar to 21.  I didn’t buy it.  I try not to give into to their gimmicks. 

We finally moved into our apartment downstairs this week.  It’s completely separate so we have a lot of privacy now, and Ana has her own room for the first time.  Last week, sleeping in the guestroom, I felt a little like Mike Stivic, although I generally get along with my in-laws unlike Mike’s relationship with Archie.

I’ve missed all the NFL playoffs so far.  A channel called Solar Sports is supposed to show the games, but we don’t have it here yet.  My brother-in-law is getting us a satelite dish so hopefully that will come in time for the Super Bowl.  It’ll be weird watching that in the morning.  It’ll start around 7:30 am on Monday here due to the time difference.

It feels good to finally start working out again after packing, moving, jet lag and a weeklong cough that I think I’m finally over. We joined the Holiday Gym this week and I’ve already used it twice-swam for a half hour on Tuesday and ran on the treadmill today. I always feel much better after working out, especially when I’m eating a lot as I’ve been doing since I got to the Philippines two weeks ago.

I hope to increase my running soon and get into the racing scene here. There’s a running club-Cebu Executive Runners Club-I’d like to join. It would be helpful to meet other runners I can train with, particularly if I am going to try to do a marathon next year. Right now, I’ve got my sights on Tokyo. February 2009. There’s a ½ marathon on Sunday as part of the Sinulog festival, which is like the Filipino equivalent of Mardi Gras it seems. I’d love to do the race, and could possibly finish despite my lack of training these past months, but I think I’ll be smart and sit this one out.

It’s funny how so many people in the Philippines are eager to introduce me to Americans they know as if I’ll form a friendship solely based on our common nationality.  I’m sure some people are like that, but I am not.  I can see how many immigrants to America want to meet people from their country, especially if they don’t know anyone.  But I’m much choosier when it comes to sharing my time with someone else.  I don’t think I can base a friendship simply on the fact that we both prefer not to have rice three meals a day.  When this aunt or that cousin offers such an introduction, I politely assent, but really, I have enough American friends.  If I happen to have something in common with the person such as music, sports, etc., then maybe we’ll be friends, but otherwise, forget it.

I think I’ve been to the mall more in the past two weeks than in the previous two years.  Malls are hugely popular here in the Philippines, partly, I think, because almost everything one needs to buy must be bought at the mall.  And there are so many malls here in sharp contrast to New York City, where malls are few and reasons to frequent them are fewer.  Today-Saturday-we needed to go to Ayala Mall to go to the hardware store-True Value no less-and the pharmacy, a Filipino chain called Mercury Drug.  It was swamped, annoyingly so.  I miss just being able to walk up to the corner of my street to go to Duane Reade to get almost any necessity.  I’m not a big fan of malls in general so I’ll try to avoid them as much as possible, but it may be difficult.

On the positive side, I did find a health food store at the mall.  While small, it was a big improvement on many of the other so-called health food stores here that are actually just vitamin stores.  I picked up some familiar products from Arrowhead Mills: oatmeal and peanut butter.  I’m trying to eat healthier after several weeks of not watching what I eat.

As has been my habit of late, I am posting here after a nearly two week absence from this page.  Of course, if you’ve been following this blog at all, I think you’ll agree that I have a good reason for being lazy.  I’m writing from my new home in Cebu, Philippines-over 10,000 miles away from the place where I last wrote.  The two months of packing and preparation, the tying up of the most minute of details, were completely exhausting.  As was the sleepless day-long flight from JFK to Manila last week and the several days of recovery from jetlag. 

Before we left we spent two nights in New York, staying with our former neighbors.  New Year’s Eve-our last day in the States-was buy and stressful, but we ended it with a quiet lobster dinner at the home of our hosts, Nancy and Richard.  During our stay in final stay in NYC, we observed a few telling signs that we no longer belong there.  These included the rain and horrendous traffic on the BQE, the usual difficulty finding a parking space, and then when I found one it was several blocks away necessitating multiple trips in a steady rain in order to bring our many belongings to Nancy’s apartment.  Then, later that evening, we got into the elevator on the fourth floor assuming it was back in service since the out-of-order sign that was up earlier in the day was no longer present.  Apparently, it should have been.  We got stuck for about ten minutes because the doors wouldn’t open, and had to count on Richard and the super, Andy, to get us out.  In over three years living in this building, we only rarely rode the elevator since we lived on the first floor.  I suppose there is some irony in this situation.  Perhaps, someone was trying to tell us that we were no longer welcome there.  Both Aya and I felt at that point that we could say good riddance to New York without much regret.  Living there is difficult, and I gave it my best shot for over 10 years.  Time to move on…

But first, there was that grueling journey by air I mentioned above.  We were cheap and didn’t buy a ticket for Ana ($1,100 seemed like a lot for a baby), hoping Cathay Pacific Airlines would have mercy on us and give us a free seat where we could use our car seat as we had done on a previous flight to Phoenix, but unfortunately the flight was completely full (not a single empty seat that I could find), so we had to hold her the entire trip: 15+ hours to Hong Kong, a 2:40 layover, then another 2 hours to Manila.  We tried to make a place for her to sleep on the floor in front of us but she refused to go down.  In all, she only slept about 4 hours the whole trip.  That was four hours more sleep than I got.  As usual, I couldn’t sleep at all.  Even without Ana, these flights were torturous for me; with her, they are nearly impossible to endure.  I could barely even watch a few movies because of my paternal duties.  I managed to make it through “Ratatouille” and “The Darjeeling Unlimited.”  The former was fun and enjoyable.  The latter dragged and failed to deliver on most of the jokes.  (I liked Wes Anderson’s earlier movies “Rushmore” and “The Royal Tanenbaum’s, ” but have been vastly disappointed with his last few efforts.)  Despite all of the books I brought with me, reading was out of the question.  I was just too sleep deprived to do anything with my mind, and too distracted with Ana.  Besides, it’s really hard to read while holding her because she cannot resist the temptation to grab the reading material and attempt to rip and crumple the pages.

We arrived in Manila on the evening of January 2^nd met by my in-laws and brother-in-law.  The next day we headed south for the beautiful and cool (for the Philippines anyway) Tagaytay area.  We spent three days there in a shabby hotel (the rooms were no better than my college dorm room), but had some great meals, and attended the wedding of Aya’s best friend, Johanna.  Aya was the matron of honor and Ana was an honorary flower girl-she wore the yellow dress just for the pictures since she can’t yet walk.  It was pretty warm that day and I felt robbed of the chance to wear a barong as the requested dress was American, i.e. a jacket and tie.

We got to our final destination of Cebu on Sunday.  We’ve been spending most of our time at home because Aya and I both have really bad colds; we caught them from the plane I think.  Ana seems to be the most adjusted of all of us, now that she is over her cold and back to a normal sleeping schedule.  I’m feeling a bit antsy here and really overwhelmed with all the changes.  I’m trying to take it slowly and hope that when all is said and done we are happy here.  Right now, we’re still in the guest room and still living out of our suitcases since our apartment downstairs is not completely finished and our mattress won’t arrive until the weekend. 

A lot more to say but I don’t really feel like saying it now so it’ll have to wait until another time.  Just glad I have Internet access here or else I’d probably go nuts.