Leaky Faucets

One thing you don’t see too often in the year 2006 is people dressed in all white outfits playing croquet.  Well, apparently you can see this in Central Park every weekend.  During a bathroom break from my run, I stumbled on an actual croquet field with white lines marking the boundaries and everything.  There was a game between two older women in action.  I used to play with my cousins in their backyard when I was young but I’m sure we had no idea how to play and I still don’t so I couldn’t watch for too long. 

If anyone is interested, there is something called the New York Croquet Club and Central Park houses The New York Lawn Bowling Club.  It’s pretty amazing but you can do just about anything in the Park.  This is probably my favorite thing about New York.  Not that I plan to put on my white pants and grab a croquet mallet anytime soon.

For the second time in the past few weeks, my desperate search for a post-run salty, carbohydrate-loaded snack was thwarted by the mysterious absence of a street cart vendor in the vicinity of Central Park.  I was clearly dehydrated today and starving.  I needed to replenish the sodium I lost through sweat.  The soft pretzel, while not the perfect food, it’s pretty damn good when you’re starving, need some carbs and don’t want to walk too far.  I knew there was a vendor at the 6^th Avenue entrance of the Park on my way to the subway.  When I got there, there were several salty pretzels waiting to be bought, but no man to buy one from.  I walked over to the guy who paints portraits of tourists and he asked me if I wanted one done.  “No, but have you seen the food guy.  I need some food.”  Of course, he didn’t know.  I guess these street purveyors don’t communicate so much with each other.  A few tourists came over to the food cart around the time I got there.  I had to break the news that there was no one manning the booth.  It seemed like they had the patience to wait it out until he got back.  I did not.

I remembered there was a vendor on 57^th and 6^th.  This was the location of the last time this happened to me a few weeks ago when I was hungry after a run in extremely humid conditions and I came to unmanned cart.  When I got to that intersection today, there was no cart there at all.  So, denied of the needed pretzel, I just went home instead of wasting any more time.

This time my cheapness caught up with me.  A week or so ago I wrote about how excited I was that Manu Chao was coming.  As soon as I found out about it I looked up the ticket info online.  I could have bought tickets right then but I didn’t want to pay the $8 service charge that Ticketmaster forces on you.  At the box office, there was no service charge so I asked Aya to buy my ticket since it was near her office.  Last week, the weather was bad and she was busy, etc. so she didn’t have a chance to go.  Finally, yesterday she went to the box office and was told it was sold out.  I was crushed and pissed off, not at her of course.  At myself.  I knew this would be popular so I should have just bitten the bullet and paid the freaking eight bucks.

I think I will probably go to the concert anyway and try to get a ticket.  You can usually find one ticket the day of the show.  If not, this will be a painful lesson as they may not play here again any time soon.   Stay tuned.

The number one reason I wouldn’t want to be a cop is all the shit they have to carry.  There must be like 20 pounds of equipment on their belts.  What a pain in the ass it must be to get all that stuff organized every day.  I could never put myself through that.  And how do they chase people with all that extra weight?

I think the real reason the White House is not stopping Israel’s assault on Lebanon is much more cynical than we think.  Partly, I’m sure they are stalling on a cease fire so Israel can continue its assault until it feels that its goals have been accomplished such as driving Hizbollah away from the border.  This motive has been widely reported in the media.  But there is a better reason perhaps.  The Israel-Lebanon debacle has been the number one news story the past week or so.  What has lost its title as number one news story?  Bingo if you said Iraq.  It’s a little Rovian tactic called sacrificing Third World civilians to save your own ass.  People will be so focused on dead innocents in Lebanon that they’ll forget about what’s happening in the powder keg between the Tigris and Euphrates.  If they can keep this going until the second week of November, they may just be able to hang on to control of Congress.

Apparently the Democrats don’t.  They were incensed at Iraqi Prime Minister al-Maliki’s condemnation of Israel and simultaneous refusal to criticize Hizbollah.  I’m no defender of Hizbollah (or any group that attacks civilians for that matter), but Israel is dead wrong in this case.  The Democrats, up to their usual pandering tactics, are obviously afraid to side against Israel and risk losing the Jewish vote in November.  I guess neither party is concerned with selling their souls for Muslim votes.

At a news conference in Israel today, Condoleeza Rice said that “it’s time for a new Middle East.  It is time to say to those who do not want a different kind of Middle East that we will prevail, they will not.”  I guess her vision of a “new Middle East” is one where all the Muslims are dead.  Then a democracy might not be so difficult to achieve, I suppose.  A civil war in Iraq certainly would take care of a lot of them while saving the U.S. precious gunpowder.  Maybe this is what Bush had in mind when he declared “Mission Accomplished.”

Why are unborn embryos and fetuses more important than living people who are sick?  Huh, Mr. president (you don’t deserve a capital P) and all you demented, deluded right-wing Nazis?  Answer the question, please.

Sounds like a good deal right? That sign is posted inside the 24 hour Indian produce market near my apartment. I went up to the register with six lemons, not quite sure how much the extra one would cost. The sari-draped cashier rang it up at $1.20. “Um, so they’re 20 cents each?” I asked amusedly. “Yes,” she said.

So the “sale” sign is really a scam. You could buy one lemon or 100 and they would still cost 20 cents each. The sign clearly implies a discount for buying five lemons even if it might only be a quarter. It’s really just a ruse to get people to buy more lemons thinking they’re getting a deal when they might only need, say four lemons. Unethical? Oh yeah. Illegal? Maybe not, but it shouldn’t be done.

This is certainly not the first time I’ve seen this gimmick at a Queens food market. Food World, the grocery across the street from my old apartment in Astoria, once had a sale on pints of Ben and Jerry’s: two for $5.00. I bought one for $2.50. Technically, there is no lie in either case, but this is dishonest business intentionally designed to deceive.

What’s up with the Jews for Jesus?  I just don’t get them.  Lately, they’ve been on an absolute campaign blitz in New York City like they’re running for office or something.  Their main competition among groups soliciting new members in subway stations are the Cruisologists with their “free stress tests.”   I haven’t seen those L. Ron Hubbard devotees since the J4J swung into action.  Perhaps they muscled them out, moved in on their turf.  Both groups have their own t-shirts that all recruiters wear, sort of their gang colors I suppose.

I wonder if people outside New York know about the Jews for Jesus.  I think I remember hearing about them when I lived in Cleveland but never actually encountered any until I lived here.  Now they’re annoying me almost every day trying to shove pamphlets at me.  I usually just ignore them and avert my eyes like most New Yorkers do when they encounter a freak, though sometimes I give a quick scowl and I’m often tempting to tell them to fuck off, though I haven’t done so yet.

What are they all about anyway?  When I was growing up somewhat Jewish, I was always told that the Jews were not big fans of that guy from Nazareth, that they believed their messiah had not yet arrived.  Many people who believe in Jesus blame the Jews for his death.  Mel Gibson might be one of them.  If Jews are for Jesus, can they really still call themselves Jews?

Some wishes do come true.  Manu Chao is finally playing here.  I’ve been waiting for this for several years ever since I first heard this amazing group.  I periodically check the web for U.S. tour dates but they seem to only play Europe where they’re based or not at all.

I found out about this show today somewhat accidentally.  Aya and I were riding the Q32 bus which we rarely take and only when the 7 train isn’t making all the regular stops like today.  We were headed down Roosevelt Avenue somewhere in the 50s and I was kind of staring out the window when the words “Manu Chao Radio Bemba” caught my eye.  There was a poster plastered on a piece of construction fence and luckily I happened to be looking at the right time.  Before we got out of eyesight I was able to read that they were playing in Prospect Park on August 7^th. I said something like: “Holy shit, Manu Chao is coming!  I can’t believe it!”

Got home and looked it up on the web right away.  It’s a Monday night but I don’t care.  Aya said she may or may not go.  I said “I’m going even if I have to go naked with my legs tied behind my neck” which I admit is probably pretty unlikely.  The point is that even if I have to go alone and make the long trek to central Brooklyn on a Monday I’m going.

For those few loyal readers of this blog who aren’t familiar with Manu Chao, I urge you to check them out.   The main guy, also named Manu Chao (not sure his real name), was French-born of Spanish parents so he sings in both languages as well as in English.  Their music is a mix of rock, reggae, ska and even punk at times.  Never boring.  You’ll be singing the lyrics in your head, even the Spanish ones and even if you don’t speak Spanish.  They’re also politically active.  Some might find the voice a bit whiny but I love it.

Click here for details.  See you all in Prospect Park on August 7^th.